Recently Mental Hamster ran a top ten BABYMETAL tracks OF ALL TIME!!!!!!! and over here at Najinsan I was all like “Eh? That looks like they’ve cobbled together ten tracks at random as a simple exercise in clickbait” and then I was all like “I bet I can make a better list simply by putting in one extra song and suffixing with MORE HYPERBOLE!
Which I totally did.
11. Song 4 (Babymetal)
It was a toss up between this and GJ but Song 4 just scrapes it because the chorus is ever so slightly better. Both football themed, both featuring Black Babymetal (Yui and Moa) Song 4 is part thrash, part punk and pure daftness from beginning to end. Hmmmm, still not sure about this. Maybe I might switch GJ over while you’re not looking.
10. Tales Of The Destinies (Metal Resistance)
Never has been, and probably never will be performed live because of its extreme technical complexity. This tune shifts around time signatures, modes and influences like Dream Theater on crack. It really is a bewildering creature and was probably composed as a massive fuck you! to Trv Mvtal Haterz. It’s awesome!
9. Yava (Metal Resistance)
On first listen Yava doesn’t promise much given the wobbly ska-inspired verses. But it’s deceptive and develops into a something really mature. It also offers Suzuka the chance to show her ever improving vocals.
8. Sis Anger (Metal Resistance)
This blistering thrash-fest pits wee scamps Yui and Moa against an absolute wall of noise that might make Acacia Strain wince. And props to the production crew for making Black Babymetal sound a bit like Die Antword (who are massive fans).
7. Doki Doki Morning (Babymetal)
This is where the list gets tricky because we’re into that middle ground where one thinks “Is this song better than X or worse than Y? Yes, a track about waking up all a-fluster to an alarm clock is very silly and maybe in another list it would rank lower. But at number 7 it feels about right. PS it still sounds heavy as fuck.
6. Babymetal Death (Babymetal)
Apparently inspired by the Mickey Mouse Marching Band and Scum by Napalm Death, this was the second track I ever heard by BABYMETAL. And while watching a live version during one Tuesday afternoon (or ‘Yuisday’ for you fans out there haha lol, erm) I was verily reduced to a shaking, incoherent wreck. Memory serves it was the vicious juxtaposition between sight and sound that made my tiny mind explode.
5. Megitsune (Babymetal)
It’s probably coincidence that the better BABYMETAL tracks have videos behind them and Megistune has one of the best. Featuring foxes, traditional costume and that savage breakdown, Megistsune really could be number 1 in any other list. But, you know…
4. Gimme Choco (Babymetal)
Friend Dan Jones, CEO over at Hoxton FM, knows how much I love chocolate and sent me a link to this video with the note “how long can you last?”. Truth be told Dan, 2 years and 6 months and counting. Gimme… works so well because it’s just a very well written tune. 60M Youtube views later, it’s BABYMETAL’s anthem.
3. Catch Me If You Can (Babymetal)
Which is also the title of a film staring Leonardo DiCaprio and has nothing to do with this list except it offers a chance to mention Leonardo DiCaprio in the same sentence as BABYMETAL. This is important because now when you google Leonardo DiCaprio and BABYMETAL this paragraph will be the only reference on the interwebs *evil laughter*.
2. IDZ (Babymetal)
No more bullying! Forever! Should this vast, sprawling, power metal monster have made it to number one? The thought has been bothering me for some time, but, well, there is one last track that might edge IDZ.
1. Headbangya!!!!!! (Babymetal)
70’s hipsters Sparks endorsed the band recently on Radio 6 and did so with BABYMETAL’s finest tune. Perhaps reminiscent of Early 80’s British Rock bands like Magnum, Headbangya!! features some deceptively clever songwriting. The live version is particularly compelling because … it fucking rocks….and Suzuka slays it. A very worthy winner.
Et voila Madammes et Monsieurs! There you have my hyperbolic top 11 tracks by BABYMETAL. But what did you think? I’m a useless copy cat and this list is rubbish? Oh, oh well then. It’s only opinion, innit.
Follow me on Twitter
Images copyright Dana Yavin and Inky
Editors note: this blogger forgot about Onedari Daisakusen. Unforgivable.